written By
These fopdoodles don’t know diddly-squat.
Their cattywampus minds can’t distinguish
dipthongs from dongles, doohickeys from fartleks.
They confuse the mythical with the actual,
mistaking the Washington snallygaster
for snollygosters sitting on their fence.
A two-letter switch defines their ignorance.
On weekends you’ll find them at shivoos
where they’ll divagate about the demise
of jackalopes and kerfuffle about
gobbledegook. Where one word would do,
they add hundreds more and multiply
syllables. These humblebrags conversate
like klazomaniacs – a spot-on clue
to their snarky brainlessness. A heads-up:
they can’t define any word within these lines
so decode as you like. Purse-proud stampcrabs
will whiffle-whaff about your intelligence.
