Doctors Have Found Man Who Never Sleeps

written By

 I conjure up a human satellite

attuned to night-and-day’s full spectral sweep.

Found and made to jerk off to their delight

into test tubes, they’d launch research for sleep

 

-resistant breeds. Fresh paint will surely spell

alarm on coffee traders’ placards that’ll burgeon.

Never to go under—may he feel well

enough to spurn the cut aims of a surgeon!

 

Is he an alien among us, one sired

for hosts? I see drones processed single file,

a mothership’s all-night breeders, well wired

to mate with our women, then grossly defile

 

and overrun us. I read on and won’t cave

to buying the rag; at last, I reach the cashier.

He is an Earth native. One who will save

on beds for sleep if single, or with a dear

 

one has a nagging-proof excuse to catch

the late-late movie. Or he is some lucky

startup’s Overtime Darling none can match

in OT work. They flash him out, the plucky

 

asset in their initial offer to woo

investors—their unusual Wall Street proffer,

like mercury in oven rises for shoo-

in gains. It’s like a bedtime story my loafer

 

uncle told me about an old classmate’s

experiment to cheat sleep, some psych nut

with an unfinished book—of his debates—

Ninety-nine Ways to Beat Sleep, Conquer Rut,

 

and Harness Time. Sleep is a waste, he claimed.

Never again! Daily he changed as if

litmus paper till he seemed alien. Tamed

and broken down, he snored for days in relief.

 

Embellishment or fantastical, here

in print we find the prototype night-shift

nurse cum burger flipper: a new-tier

specimen for times of plenty or thrift.

 

He may not dream, though lying by his mate

learns what 24–7 work implies—

eye flutters of REM worlds he can’t recreate,

with time and space science can’t colonize. 

Author

  • Alexander Pepple edits Able Muse and its related presses, and directs its related Eratosphere online literary workshop. He edited the Able Muse Anthology (Able Muse Press, 2010) and has been published widely, most recently at Potomac Review, WestWard Quarterly, Blue Unicorn, Hopkins Review, Rosebud, River Styx, Grand Little Things, and Barrow Street.

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